


Carbon Date

by Bucksbegins



Series: UkaTake Week 2021 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I just needed to write baby Karasuno with their grumpy Uncle Ukai I don't have an excuse, M/M, Museum Tour Guide Takeda, Takeda knows a lot about dinosaurs and how to deal with children, The first years are first graders, Ukai is awkward, Uncle Ukai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28636914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bucksbegins/pseuds/Bucksbegins
Summary: When Uncle Ukai corralled his niece and nephews to the local museum in an attempt to keep his apartment from crumbling into chaos, he didn't expect to come face to face with the cutest tour guide he's ever seen. Now, the only question is whether or not he can get up the courage to ask Takeda on a date.
Relationships: Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin
Series: UkaTake Week 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092584
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88
Collections: UkaTake Week 2021





	Carbon Date

**Author's Note:**

> UkaTake Week!
> 
> I guess you could call this Day 5: Karasuno 3rd Wheeling.

It had been two hours since Ukai’s apartment was flooded with the shrieks and snorts of a handful of six-year-olds.

Two hours since not one, not two, but all five of his nieces and nephews had been hastily corralled through his door with pleads and apologies from their parents and promises to return as soon as homes had been cleaned, grocery shopping completed, and whatever other tasks six-year-olds generally prevented parents from doing quickly and peacefully.

It had been two hours since the organized chaos of Ukai’s apartment had been reduced to  _ actual _ chaos, and the downpour of rain outside had prevented him from letting his collection of ankle-biters loose in the neighbourhood park.

With a roll of his shoulders two firm claps in the centre of his living room, he called the kids’ attention.

Well, he  _ attempted _ to call the kids’ attention.

Two pairs of eyes turned up from the ever-growing tower of Lego blocks, one up from the unicorn doll shedding glitter on his couch cushions, while one flashed towards him and back to the car-crash of Hot Wheels on the carpet, noises of destruction and tragedy spilling from his mouth. The last remained firmly intent on the tablet stationed in front of him, something that looked like a varsity volleyball game playing out on the screen.

Ukai focused on the first three.

“Let’s go somewhere fun,” He suggested, trying to infuse his already exhausted voice with enthusiasm.

“Like where?” Tadashi wondered, his dishevelled uncle suddenly much more interesting than the blocks of Lego.

Ukai’s brain whirred, sifting through every TV, newspaper, and bus station ad he’d seen in the last month, trying to locate an activity that would keep all five kids engaged, without causing his hair to grey prematurely.

“Ah, I think there’s a museum close by,” His hazy memory brought up an ad for a dinosaur exhibit opening while he fished in his pocket for his phone, “Do you guys like dinosaurs?”

“Dinosaurs!” Tadashi marvelled.

“I have a book about dinosaurs,” The hard-to-please Tsukishima Kei piped up, “My brother taught me all about them, my favourite is the Spinosaurus.”

“Perfect.”

Ukai’s brain was already stuttering at the thought of being asked to read any of the long, scientific names on the plaques, but there was an irresistible allure to getting them out of his house. If there were precautionary measures to ensure Shoyo couldn’t swan dive, snotty nose first, into his clean laundry basket, he would take them.

“Hitoka? How does that sound? Do you want to go to the museum?” If he could convince three out of five, he was sure the other two would come along with minimal complaints.

Yachi pursed her lips and looked down at her unicorn, “Can I bring Princess Miracle?”

“Yes, of course,” She would be doing him a favour, getting that glittery monster out of his house and onto floors he didn’t have to clean.

She beamed, “Okay!”

When Ukai turned back to the final two, Shoyo was already grinning at Tadashi.

“We’re really going to see the dinosaurs, Uncle ‘Kai?” Shoyo wondered, chubby fingers still gripping his Hot Wheels.

“Yeah, kid, so you all better get your coats and shoes on as fast as you can or we’ll miss them.” Ukai pointed towards the jumble of light-up shoes and raincoats strewn in his foyer.

He ignored the mess that littered his living room and crouched down beside his last challenge.

“Tobio?” Ukai probed, setting a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

He’d seen his nephew’s parents coax him away from the screen enough times to have a general idea of the motions.

The boy made a noise in the back of his throat but didn’t turn from the game. Ukai sat next to him, the echo of noise in the front hall still in the periphery of his attention.

“We’re going to go to a museum, buddy,” Ukai said, “Can I pause this so you can get your shoes and coat on? It’ll be quick and then you can watch some more in the car.”

Ukai waited until the next serve came up to pause the video.

Tobio blinked at the screen before turning towards Ukai, his mouth slightly agape and eyes still a little glassy.

Ukai repeated what he said before, Tobio’s eyes roaming the room as he waited for some sign of confirmation.

“The car?” He repeated quietly.

Ukai nodded, “Yes, we’re going in the car, and then we’re going to the museum. We’ll see the dinosaurs.”

“Dinosaurs?” He echoed, head lifting slightly with interest, even as his eyes trailed back towards the video on the screen.

“Come on, Tobio!” Shoyo’s voice pierced through the room, calling both of their attention as he marched across the carpet in his boots and coat, “We can watch volleyball later. Let’s go look at the dinosaurs!”

Ukai watched as Shoyo took Tobio’s hand and pulled him to his feet, guiding him towards the front hall, chattering about how he was the fastest to put his shoes and coat on, and that Tobio would have to pay attention if he wanted to win next time.

Ukai took a moment to pat himself on the back before he, too, was in motion – grabbing the tablet, his coat, shoved his feet into a pair of shoes and saying a small prayer for the poor tour guide who was about to be stuck with them.

.

“Guys!” Ukai called to the already scattering collection of kids fanning out in the foyer, “Don’t run off while I buy the tickets!”

Luckily for him, it was relatively empty despite the terrible weather.

He watched as Tsukki and Tadashi wandered away to gaze up at the large poster of a T-Rex on the wall, its gaping mouth framing their tiny figures while Shoyo chased Tobio in circles around the donor plaques that were clustered in the center of the room. Yachi was still holding his hand from when he made them pair up to cross the parking lot, and he hefted her onto his hip so they could both peer over the ticket counter.

“Six tickets for the, uh,” Ukai glanced around for a price board, “The dinosaur thing.”

The woman behind the desk gave him a polite smile, “No problem, that’s one adult and five child tickets?”

Ukai nodded and glanced over his shoulder to make sure the quartet behind him hadn’t caused any property damage.

“Alrighty… I’ll call a guide for you,” She gave Ukai a once-over as he fished his wallet out of his back pocket and began counting cash.

“If you could apologize in advance for me…” He grumbled, handing over the bills.

Her grin spread wider, “No need,” She gestured across the room with the phone before hanging it up, “It looks like he’s already getting started.”

Ukai whipped around, finding a bespectacled man crouched in front of all four of his nephews, a smile playing on his lips as he talked.

Yachi wiggled until he set her down, her glittery pony swinging to and fro as she joined their semi-circle.

“Thanks,” Ukai gave a tight-lipped smile to the ticket girl as she passed him the receipt. He was definitely going to guilt their parents into reimbursing him for this.

“Enjoy~” She called after him, as he made his way across the foyer towards his gaggle of kids.

“… the last room is the Cretaceous Period-“ The tour guide’s even voice reached Ukai’s ears.

“That’s when the Spinosaurus lived!” Tsukki’s excited voice broke through.

“That’s right, Kei! A lot of my favourite dinosaurs lived in the Cretaceous Period…”

Ukai came to stand behind the kids, taking a moment while the tour guide was still distracted explaining the last room of the tour to get a good look at him.

He was dressed like a stereotypical museum attendant – khaki slacks, a button-down and tie, brown dress shoes.

Ukai looked down at his old sweatshirt and worn jeans, stopping himself from running a hand through his bleach-fried hair in an attempt to at least look somewhat capable of caring for five kids simultaneously.

“-Sir?” A voice cut through his thoughts as he absentmindedly picked at a fray on his sweater.

Ukai’s head snapped up, meeting the warm eyes of the tour guide, now standing at his full height. Still half a head shorter than Ukai, but with a presence that commanded attention.

“Hm?” He responded, eyes flickering around for any indication of what he was just asked about.

“You need to tell him your name Uncle ‘Kai!” Shoyo announced, pointing to the nametag already stuck to his shirt, “Look! I’m  _ Shoyosaurus _ !”

“M-Mr. Takeda,” Tadashi spoke up, “I want him to have a name like mine.”

Ukai felt a jolt of surprise flash through him. Tadashi wasn’t normally this friendly with people he’d just met.

“I can definitely try,  _ Tadashiops _ ,” His voice was bright and Ukai felt heat spread over his skin when those round cheeks turned their smile on him.

_ Why was he blushing? _

“I, uh,” He cleared his throat and straightened up, “My name’s Ukai. Keishin Ukai.”

The guide made a little noise of affirmation in the back of his throat and tapped the marker against his lips.

Ukai took a peek at the rest of their nametags;  _ Shoyosaurus _ ,  _ Tobio Rex _ ,  _ Keiranus _ ,  _ Tadashiops _ , and  _ Hitokaraptor _ . He watched as Yachi traced her finger over the letters on Tobio’s nametag, sounding out each of them as she went.

“Here you go,  _ ‘Kai-ceratops _ .”

Ukai turned back towards their guide and felt the breath leave his chest in a huff.

There was a small smile playing on his lips, one that could be categorized as “innocent” if it wasn’t accompanied by the little glint of mischief in his eyes.

Ukai felt utterly disarmed, standing in the middle of an impatient gaggle of six-year-olds being pinned down by the brown-eyed stare of their museum tour guide.

Ukai’s mouth was dry.

“I can put it on for you, if you want,” He noted, wiggling the sticker extended between them.

Ukai felt his heart pound in his chest, throat thick as he tried to swallow down his nerves and regain even an ounce of his cool. He reached out and took the sticker, muttering his thank you as his eyes flashed down to the nametag neatly pinned to their guide’s chest.

“Ittetsu Takeda…” Ukai noted, “The tour guides don’t get dinosaur-themed names?”

“The dinosaur-themed names are reserved for our special guests,” He replied, flashing one more smile before he clapped his hands together and sang a little song to bring the children’s attention back to him.

Ukai pressed the sticker onto his shirt and bit back the nervousness suddenly clattering in his chest, opting to remove Kageyama’s finger from his nose and follow their guide as he began leading them towards the exhibit.

.

“Wow!” Shoyo gasped as they made their way through the Jurassic Period, “That’s a Brontosaurus! Like Little Foot!”

“That’s a Brachiosaurus, Shoyo,” Tsukki scoffed.

“No it’s not!” He argued, Ukai stepping pointedly between the two, placing a hand on each other their heads to keep them from glaring at each other around his legs.

“They’re easy to confuse,” Takeda picked up quickly, leading the group of them over to the picture board in front of the skeleton that showed the differences between the two, “What’s similar about these two pictures?”

The kids crowded around.

“They have long necks.” Shoyo began.

“They have big, scaly bodies,” Tadashi supplied.

“They’re both eating leaves,” Yachi pointed out.

“Very good!” Takeda praised, reaching out for high fives, “Now, can you tell me what’s different about them?”

The kids looked at the pictures again.

“The Brontosaurus’ neck is shorter,” Tsukki said.

“Do you notice anything when you look at their heads?” Takeda looked around at them, “Tobio, can you see anything different between this picture and this picture?”

The dark-haired boy looked to where Takeda was pointing and stepped towards it, running his fingers back and forth between the pictures.

“There’s a bump on his head.” He replied, pointing to the picture on the left.

“Very good job! Do you guys see how the Brachiosaurus’ head has this big bump on it and the Brontosaurus doesn’t?”

“What’s his bump for?” Yachi wondered.

She grasped in Ukai’s direction, and he handed over the rainbow-coloured unicorn that had been passed off to him when the opportunity to press buttons had come up in the previous room.

She held it up towards Takeda, “Is it magic like Princess Miracle’s horn?”

Takeda grinned at her.

“We actually don’t know what the Brachiosaurus used its bump for.”

“Maybe it was for shaking trees!” Tadashi suggested, pointing to the tall tree in the picture.

“Maybe it was for fighting off T-Rex’s.” Tobio piped up, baring his teeth and growling at Shoyo who shrieked and ran in the opposite direction.

“Maybe it just looked nice.” Ukai muttered, as the kids broke away and left the two adults at the plaque.

“You know, a lot of the inexplicable features of dinosaurs get categorized as factors that impacted sexual selection,” He explained.

“For a long time, the sail on the back of the Spinosaurus was thought to be used in courtship displays. That is until they started assessing the vertebrae in the tail against that of a crocodile and realized its relative function was the same. Then they determined that the sail must have had an aquatic advantage either in streamlining water or acting as a fin, of sorts.”

Ukai’s mind was moving faster than it had in years, partly due to the unfamiliar words that were trying to perforate his bleach-fried brain, but more so because of the way Takeda’s cheeks got rosier the more he chattered, making Ukai’s collar feel far too constricting around his neck.

He peeled his attention away when Takeda’s fingers reached up to nudge the glasses back up his nose, turning towards the opening that would lead them to the Cretaceous Period and, inevitably, the end of the tour.

“Oh,” Came Takeda’s muted comment before Ukai felt a hand run down the sleeve of his sweater.

He miraculously contained his jolt of surprise at the contact, turning his head to find Takeda’s hand taking another swipe at his elbow.

Ukai’s eyes were wide when Takeda looked up at him again.

“You had…” He held up his palm, remnants of rainbow glitter shining on his skin.

“Princess Miracle…” Ukai replied.

“Yeah,” He nodded, turning quickly back to the room, and calling the kids back to him with a few claps.

Ukai watched him gather them at a display for another “can you spot the difference?” exercise, wandering over once the blush on the back of his neck didn’t feel like it was steaming anymore.

“They look like lizards,” Tobio’s little voice reached him.

“They do, don’t they,” Takeda noted, “But did you know that these pictures may not actually be what dinosaurs looked like?”

There was a chorus of disbelief from the kids.

“I know!” He laughed, “But scientists have started to wonder if dinosaurs might have had fur or feathers! Can you guys imagine seeing a T-Rex with feathers?”

Their voices rose until they were yelling over one another, Tsukki insisting his brother had told him that already, while Yachi wondered aloud if their fur would have been soft like her cat’s.

“What colour would the feathers be?” Tadashi’s question broke through the din.

Takeda cocked his head to the side, “What colour do you think they’d be?”

“Maybe brown?” Tadashi replied.

“I think they’d be black,” Tsukki said, confidently.

“Oh! I want them to be pink!” Yachi grinned.

“Pink?” Shoyo perked up.

“They can’t be  _ pink _ !” Tobio objected, “They’re  _ dinosaurs _ .”

While the collection of them chatted and fought, Yachi shuffled back until she could grab a fistful of Ukai’s jeans, clutching her unicorn tightly. He reached down and ruffled her hair, trying to see under her mop of blonde hair to make sure she wasn’t crying.

When he was sure she was only shocked silent and not blubbering, he straightened up, hand still brushing through the fine hair on her head, wondering if he’d have to buy something from the gift shop to cheer her up.

“Well,” Takeda’s voice cut in, drawing their focus back to him, “Can anyone tell me what animal is most closely related to dinosaurs?”

“Lizards.” Shoyo offered.

“You would think so, but that’s not it. Try again.”

“Snakes!”

“Not snakes. I’ll give you a hint… They have feathers.”

Tadashi’s eyebrows were furrowed as he answered, “…Birds?”

“That’s right!” Takeda beamed, “Birds are actually the direct descendants of dinosaurs. How cool is that?”

The kids’ chatter was both excited and skeptical.

“Do you know what the means?” Takeda was looking at Yachi, her face barely peeking out from where she clutched Ukai around the knee.

She shook her head a little bit.

“Do you know what colour a Flamingo is?” He wondered.

She turned her head, “Pink?”

Takeda nodded, looking at the boys, “So… If Flamingoes have pink feathers… and  _ birds _ came from  _ dinosaurs _ …”

“Maybe there were pink dinosaurs!” Tadashi cheered.

Yachi gasped, looking up to Ukai like he could confirm this information.

He simply smiled back at her awed face, hoping his enthusiasm would hide his own surprise.

He couldn’t help but be struck dumb as his eyes turned towards the tour guide, already leading the kids into another lesson as they strolled through the rest of the Jurassic exhibit.

All Ukai could think was that he’d really like to have Takeda around the next time one of the first-graders asked where babies came from.

.

The final leg of the tour seemed to fly by, and before long Takeda was drawing them over to a little theatre that showed fossil excavation and skeleton reconstruction.

Ukai hovered at the entrance when he saw that Takeda wasn’t following.

“Not interested in watching it for the 10 th time today?” Ukai wondered, attempting to be as casual as possible as he lingered in the doorway, hoping the kids stayed occupied for more than 30 seconds.

“Try 100 th ,” Takeda laughed, “I could probably recite most of it from memory.”

“You seem like the type,” Ukai snorted.

He heard his comment echo in his head and backpedalled, hoping to salvage his credibility, if not his pride, “I mean because you seem like you have a really good memory for these things… The…” He gestured vaguely, “Dinosaur stuff.”

Ukai cringed, not even bothering to hide the way his own voice made him recoil.

_ Way to blow it, Keishin. _

To his surprise, he was greeted by Takeda’s loud, unrestrained laughter.

He looked up from his pity-party to find Takeda’s unabashed grin, his eyes squinted up behind his glasses and arm wrapped protectively around his middle.

Ukai’s fingers scratched into the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling a warmth splotch across his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh,” Takeda said, his voice still high and weak as he fought through the remnants of it, his grin persistent, no matter how many times he pressed his lips together to smother it,  “I’ve just never heard a compliment like that before… I'm used to paleontology puns and cheesy one-liners."

Ukai's throat bobbed when Takeda turned a sly look up at him. Ukai averted his gaze, wondering if Takeda knew he was attempting to flirt with him.

_Attempting_ being the operative word.

"Well, considering I've only found out about the difference between a Brachiosaurus and a Brontosaurus about 20 minutes ago, I don't think I'm in any position to start thinking up jokes about it," Ukai admitted, "If you couldn't tell, I'm not so smooth when I'm thinking on my feet." 

Seeing Takeda’s nose scrunch up with suppressed laughter made Ukai’s stomach flutter with something other than embarrassment, although he still had enough of that to keep him awake for the next few weeks.

"You're doing better than you think," Takeda said.

Ukai let himself huff a laugh before his words sank in.

His head had only snapped up to see Takeda's smug grin for a second before his attention was called to the door of the dark theatre.

“Uncle ‘Kai, I’m hungry!” His orange-haired nephew called, skipping out and launching himself at Ukai's arm, locking his legs around his middle and holding on tight.

Ukai recovered quick enough to catch Shoyo before he slid off of him.

“Look Mr. Takeda, I’m a Raptor!”

Ukai couldn’t help but swear as Shoyo’s jaw clamped down on the meat of his bicep.

“You know,” Ukai grunted, reaching down to grab Shoyo under the armpits, “Little Raptors like you should know not to take a bite out of someone bigger than you.”

He heaved the boy up and over his shoulder, poking at his sides, “Because the big dinosaurs always win.”

Shoyo shrieked and wiggled as Ukai tickled him, his laughter echoing above the automated noises of the exhibit around them. He set him down when they were both breathless and Shoyo had agreed not to bite anyone else, looking around to find Takeda a few paces away talking quietly with another tour guide.

“Are we going to go now, Uncle Ukai?” Yachi wondered, emerging from the theatre with Tobio, Tadashi, and Tsukki.

“Is the movie all done?”

They all nodded.

Ukai glanced to where Takeda was laughing with the other guide.

He stole himself and herded the kids toward him.

_You're doing better than you think._

Takeda's words rang clearly in his head as Shoyo's shrieking raptor noises caught his attention.

“Hey! How did you like the movie, pretty cool, right?”

Ukai gave himself a mini-pep talk.

It wasn’t his fault that his flirting skills were rusty. His experience these days was limited to senior women talking him up over the counter of his shop. There was no precedent for actually trying to impress a young, intelligent guy he might stand a chance with.

He was going to be a man. 

He was going to ask for their tour guide’s number.

Unless that was inappropriate... He was probably this friendly with everyone, right?

Ukai’s mind raced as Takeda held his hands up for high-fives all around.

“Alright then, guys, I hope the rest of your day is really fun!” Takeda grinned, “Try to save all of your big dinosaur bites for your food, okay? We don’t want to hurt each other, or Uncle ‘Kai.”

Ukai felt a chill run through his body when Takeda said his name.

All of the words rushed out of him as Takeda turned his grin on him, the kids chorusing their ‘thank you's’ as they skipped off towards the gift shop.

_ He could do it. _

_ He could do it. _

Takeda straightened up, the smile still beaming from his round cheeks.

_ He couldn’t do it. _

“Thanks for the tour,” He said, his eyes shifting away from his cheery face, “You were… It was really good.”

Ukai nodded a little, turning on his heels and making his way towards the trail of kids wandering around the gift shop shelves.

“Come on guys, let’s go get something to eat,” He muttered, more disappointed in himself than he expected.

He’d have to convince one of them to come back with him so he had an excuse to talk to Takeda again. 

Maybe he’d ask Takinoue for some advice.

Who was he kidding? He couldn’t remember his own name when that guy was around, much less anything witty or charming to say.

Ukai blew out a breath, gathering his strength to make it to the end of the day.

“Alright guys, grab a hand.” He extended his arms and five pairs of feet ran in his direction, linking onto his hands as the automatic doors slid open.

They were on the sidewalk when a voice called out behind them.

“ _ Kai-ceratops _ , wait!”

Ukai froze, one foot on the curb, a string of six-year-olds pulled to a halt as the automatic doors slid open again.

Takeda stood there, a firm set to his jaw.

He marched over with purpose, stopping a step in front of them.

“You forgot this,” Takeda said.

Ukai looked down quickly, counting all five kids and blowing out a small sigh of relief before his attention turned to Takeda.

He wasn’t holding anything other than a nametag sticker and a marker.

“I forgot…” Ukai began.

“This - ” Takeda reached out and placed the sticker on his chest, pressing it down with the flat of his palm, “In case you want to ask me about dinosaur stuff... or any stuff."

With that, Takeda turned and marched back through the doors, the pair of them closing with a  _ whoosh _ and leaving Ukai and the kids staring at themselves in the mirrored glass.

Ukai looked down, the nametag a jumble of letters and numbers he couldn’t make out while five six-year-olds tugged on his arms.

Ukai found his car in a daze, clipping seat buckles, fixing rain boots, passing out snacks with a haze over his eyes.

He slipped into the driver’s seat, blinking out the front windshield before he tore the nametag off of his chest, the imprint of Takeda’s hand still pounding in his chest like a second heartbeat.

He read the nametag.

Then he read it again.

_ xxx-xxx-xxxx _

_ ~ Ittetsu Takeda _

Ukai couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on his face - equal parts disbelief and elation.

“Alright,” He called over his shoulder, his heart beating a happy rhythm, “What do you dinosaurs want for lunch?”


End file.
